13 Grown-and-Sexy Additions to Your Halloween Party Playlist

'Tis the season for looking good and acting bad. Halloween is the sexiest holiday after the Fourth of July and Valentine's Day. In that order. But nothing can kill the mood faster than a bad choice of music. Except maybe getting cornered by that one creepy dude--no hear me out. Creepy is good. Creepy is IDEAL at a party because then you don't have to carry the conversation, you just get to ask endless questions about whatever anomaly that creepy person has. But creepy-bad is dangerous. You know the difference. Be safe out there.

It might interest you to know, speaking of the plentiful imagery of Halloween and Friday the 13, that although we talk usually about horror movies--hell, we talk ONLY about horror movies--Maegan and I met on dance team in high school. It's a true story. And it was hip hop dance team. Not even that watered down electronicapop or whatever fusion we've rebranded washingmachine noise as. Maegan was even in the Walk It Out video. Get her to tell you the story. My point in this whole paragraph was to establish us as People Who Know. We know what will actually get your guests moving because we are among the discerning.

Case in point: until very recently I was single, and it really sucks to WANT to dance with some hot acquaintance or stranger but to not be ABLE to dance because someone keeps hijacking the playlist and playing Backstreet Boys because they're in vodka-nostalgia mode already. I mean, really, if we're gonna go nostalgic on music at a party, can we at least get Destiny's Child? En Vogue? Britney Spears' bad-girl phase, at least? Am I right?

Don't let a bad soundtrack kill your vibes.

Oh, and the other worst mood-killer at a party is, of course, lighting.

So make sure you get the three essential elements to any successful party, and then consult our set list suggestions.

What do you mean, you don't know the first three essential party elements?

1. Clear the room of furniture. You can leave the coffee table as long as you don't mind anyone dancing on it. I do mean clear the furniture though. Otherwise your livingroom turns into a fishbowl, and no one wants to dance in a fishbowl.
2. Have an already-mixed cocktail. It gets your friends tipsy faster, and then they'll start talking to people they don't already know.
3. Make some food you can eat with one hand. You don't want anyone leaving the party early to go get Hot'N'Readys before the Little Caesar's next to the Corner Store closes. (That's what we call liquor stores in the south. Sometimes we just call it The Store, because it's the most important one.)

Honorable mention: make sure the music is loud enough that people have to stand close to talk, but they can still have a conversation. And that conversation turns into dancing, and then maybe into grinding on a stranger, depending on what kind of party--and what kind of friends!--when you play our suggestions.

We combed the internet, and we found the 13 best additions to your Halloween Party Playlist. Don't worry. We all know that "Monster Mash" and "Thriller" are already on there, so I won't insult you by telling you to "add" Michael Jackson's "Thriller" to your playlist. Please. That's a rookie mistake. It's on every playlist ever (and yet y'all STILL won't commit to the dance. Why? It's SUPPOSED to look jerky. If you're gonna dance to Thriller, you need to have rigor mortis. That's the whole thing).

1. "People are Strange," by The Doors

When you're strange, faces come out of the rain. When you're strange.

This is a good one to start with, when the teenagers-too-old-to-Trick-or-Treat are still ringing doorbells. It's also vintage enough that they'll be warned off. And spooky enough to set the mood as sexy-spooky. Jim Morrison has that otherworldly repetition down. Plus the keys sound like a fucking harpsichord somehow, and that's dope.

If you don't believe me that it's a great mood-setter, check out this video of Captain Tug-Stubbo and Maybelle who use the song (sometimes) as background for their DOPE sideshow act: Also, go see them perform. They're awesome. (This video won't do them justice, obviously, but it's the one this song plays in the background--and this is actually the show where I first saw them, too!)

2. "Dead and Lovely," Tom Waits

He's not the type of wheel you'd fall asleep at.

Don't listen to the words too closely. The lyrics are a supreme bummer. But the instruments are a bluesy and spooky in just the right way--you can also just focus on the idea that Tom Waits is seducing you. Remember when he was The Devil in The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus? What a great casting choice.

Oh, and hey, remember when he was Renfield in Bram Stoker's Dracula? How could you forget? Don't worry, we talk about him AT LENGTH in our podcast which debuts October 27, yes it was a shameless plug but you're gonna love it, I'm confident. Maybe I'm overselling it. Probably not, though.

3. "Jump in the Line," Harry Belafonte

Shake, shake, Senora, shake your body in time.

On its own, this is not a Halloween song. But you know it from Beetlejuice, I'm sure. If you don't, this one is sure to get people to involuntarily wiggle. That's the thing about music from the '60s, right? You didn't need to know how to dance to move to it. But if you DO know, then you get to show off. Check Lydia out:

4. "Land of a Million Drums," Outkast

Scooby Doo. Scooby Doo. Scooby-damn-Doo.

This one dropped right when Outkast reached their weirdness apex, so it's perfect for Halloween, and it's perfect for dancing because... you know, it's Outkast at prime time.

Plus, it was on the live-action Scooby Doo movie's soundtrack. And at the end, Sleepy Brown's refrain is timeless: I would a got away with it if it wasn't for ya meddlin' kiiiiiids, oh oh.

5. "Monster," Kanye West--I'm gon' let you finish, but it's Nicki Minaj's song.

First things first, I'll eat your brains
Then I'm a start rockin' gold teeth with fangs
'Cause that's what a motherfuckin monster do
Hairdresser from Milan, that's the monster 'do
Monster Giuseppe heel, that's the monster shoe
Young Money is the roster and the Monster crew--

Let me stop myself before I do her whole rap, badly. This is the song that put Nicki Minaj on the map, true, and it's on theme. Plus all the lady-celebrities have been rapping it on talkshows lately, and that means at least some of your guests will know the whole song, so even if there's no dancing--which, at this point, there should be--they'll be up and moving around.

6. "I Put a Spell on You," Screamin' Jay Hawkins

I don't care if you don't want me. I'm yours right now. I put a spell on you because you're mine.

This is THE BEST song. To quote Jimmy Slonina, the guy lip syncing in the video below and amazing clown, "Nothing puts you in a good mood like Screamin' Jay Hawkins."

Now, if you're like me, you're more familiar with Nina Simone's rendition, which is also the bomb, but this one is somehow sassier, more fun-loving. And oh, my God, just watch his face.

7. "Ramalama Bang Bang," Roisin Murphy

Unzip my body, take my heart out. 

This song came from So You Think You Can Dance's homage to "Thriller" in like 2006. It's been around a while, but it's SO cool. It'll keep those bpms going and keep your people dancing even if they're in the middle of pouring a drink.

8. "The Potion," Ludacris

What up? Hey baby, I got the potion. Take a sip of this, and put your back in motion.

Such a weird, dope beat, but SO fun at a party. Catchy, and perfect to play at the heart of the dancing.

9. "If I Had a Heart," Fever Ray

If I had a heart I would love you. If I had a voice I would sing.

This is the theme song from the History Channel's show Vikings. Which I love(d). You think it'd be too slow to dance to, but my favorite belly dance teacher in the world blasted it at the best hafla I've ever been to, and it was bomb. It really was. We had a Soul Train Line and everything. You think I'm joking, but I'm not.

10. "Death on Two Legs," Queen

Is your conscience alright? Does it plague you at night? Do you feel good?

For those in your crew who need a refill or want to sing classic rock at full volume, this song is a less played-out version of the impeccable "Bohemian Rhapsody." It's hard to sing Freddie Mercury--no, it's IMPOSSIBLE to sing like Freddie Mercury--but at this point in the night, it's fun to try!

10. "Voodoo Chile Blues," Jimi Hendrix

She said, "The gypsy was right!" and fell right dead.

You loved Jimi Hendrix and The Experience's "Voodoo Child." You'll definitely love this song. Coming off the high-energy Queen song, this one mellows the crowd a little. In a good way. It's the song you dance to when you're figuring out whether you're going home with someone or not and then you find out you are.

Anecdote: One time I was at a '50s/'60s dance party and suddenly found myself grinding on a stranger in the corner. I extracted myself and then told my best friend, Mary, what happened, that I accidentally grinded on a stranger, and she said, "During 'Kiss?' Mary Kay, that was no accident. That was Prince."

For this song, Jimi Hendrix will be your Prince.

13. "When the Lights Go Out," The Black Keys

I know what the sun's all about when the lights go out.

This song plays in the opening credits to Black Snake Moan, in case it sounded familiar. It's a great song to end the night on because it slows down, but it's still dancey. And it makes people want to go home.

Megan Draper said it best:

13. "Toccata and Fugue in D Minor," Johann Sebastian Bach

Okay, so this one might be obvious, but you'd be surprised how many Halloween parties don't play it--I'm waiting for someone to sample it in a rap song a la Busta Rhymes in "Gimme Some Mo," but I've been waiting for years.

It's amazing, for sure. I heard it live once and it literally made me cry it was so powerful. But canned, it's great get-the-fuck-out-my-house music.

End of list. Except for, you know, this is only 13 songs. We would LOVE to hear your favorites in the comments. Also, Maegan and I are both free Halloween night, so if you have a party that features this playlist and don't invite us, we'll put a spell on you... because WE DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T WANT US. WE'RE YOURS RIGHT NOW. 

Just kidding. Happy Friday the 13, y'all. 

Kind of.